Shame versus Humiliation

Two themes that feature prominantly in the BDSM lifestyle are shame and humiliation. Though the two themes may seem interchangeable, in my humble opinion their uses are both very different in their purposes and applications.

Shame is feelings of remorse and regret due to ones actions. Lets say there is a brat who has, as brats tend to do, been quite the handful and is getting on the nerves of her Spanker. This brat has had a verbal outburst at her Dominant. Imidiately after her statement she regrets it....unless she is an espically problem brat. The actions of the Dominant will decide what happens next. There should be true consequences to this action weither those consequences physical or only mental is a decision that should be made carfully. The instant reaction is to take the spiteful brat, up her skirt, down her panties, and redden her bottom as she most certainly deserves. This spanking may only reinforce her feelings of being wronged and encourage more annimosity. The other more calculated response is to let it sink in that she has dissappointed her Dominant or at least crossed a line that she should no better. The mind games that follow that reinforce her remorse push her to feel the shame that she should feel for this infraction. Shame, perhaps even more than pain is the most important tool of the Dominant when it comes to behavior modification.

I believe that Humiliation has an important place in both Disciplinary and concensual BDSM relationships. While a Master/Dom/Sir/Spanker can use humiliation to break down the brat/sub/slave/littlemiss in addition to punnishment, but for the consenting sub, humiliation is a tool that can be used to test the depths of their submission and devotion. A submissive who wants to serve and to please her Dominant needs to accept the humiliation that is placed upon her. Her acceptance and endurance of humiliation is a way of showing her devotion and desire to please and obey. Ive used humiliation of varrious degrees in my domination of my sub/wife. Though Ive not taken it to the extremes that have crossed my mind, I know that my littlemiss would endure because her desire to obey and her love for me. I am very lucky and very proud.